From the BlogMeet Ron

CHUCK 4/5/19

Ask for guidance
Sometimes things seem like good ideas and aren’t, really.–Piglet
 
Ask for guidance first.
Self-will is a tricky thing. So are impulse behaviors.
 
We’ve heard of impulse buying– making a purchase quickly and without thought, based on monetary impulse. It’s easy to get caught up living our lives that way, too. So often, we run off in the heat of the moment

Spontaneity is good. Saying yes to life is good, too. But impulse living can get us into trouble. We can overreact to a problem, then sit in a heap of regrets. Sometimes, the next step presents itself clearly, in a flash of inspiration. Sometimes, we’re meant to go forward and not let our fears and negative thoughts hold us back. Sometimes, we’re acting on impulse and may end up sabotaging ourselves.

 
Ask for guidance first. It takes only a second to check the map and see if the turn we’re thinking of making is where we really want go.
 
God, show me what your will is for me. Show me if the decision I’m about to make is in my best interest or if there is a better path for me to explore.
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When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. –Mark Twain

Feelings of anger are a knotty problem for many. Some of us as children were injured or so frightened by an angry adult that we have instinctively avoided anger ever since. Or we have been appalled by ourselves when we lost control of our anger. Still, we are taught that it is masculine to be aggressive. Some of us have tried so hard to squelch our anger that we don’t even know when we feel it. We treat anger like a rejected child once rejected we no longer have good discipline over it. So it comes out in hurtful jokes and sarcastic comments, or bursts out of us in scary and destructive ways.

For some of us, overly controlled anger turns inward against ourselves. We get physically ill or depressed and self-hating. Every recovering person needs an honest relationship with his anger. We must acknowledge this feeling within us when it is there. It is healthy to express anger directly, honestly, and respectfully.

Thanks to God for the richness of my emotional life. Today, I will notice my feelings of anger and accept them so I can learn to relate to them. 
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Detaching in Love

Detachment is a key to recovery from codependency. It strengthens our healthy relationships – the ones that we want to grow and flourish. It benefits our difficult relationships – the ones that are teaching us to cope. It helps us!
Detachment is not something we do once. Its a daily behavior in recovery. We learn it when were beginning our recovery from codependency and adult children issues. And we continue to practice it along the way as we grow and change, and as our relationships grow and change.
We learn to let go of people we love, people we like, and those we don’t particularly care for. We separate ourselves, and our process, from others and their process.
We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.
 
Today, I will apply the concept of detachment, to the best of my ability, in my relationships. If I can’t let go completely, I’ll try to hang on loose.

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Just do what you can
 
Dear God,
I am doing the best that I can.
–Children’s Letters to God
 
Sometimes all we can do is all we can do.
“Maybe my talent is being a good listener,” said John. “Maybe I’m not supposed to be rich and famous. I’m supposed to be the person who just sits and listens.”
The world needs listeners,too. If everyone were the storyteller, it would be a noisy place, and no one would ever get to hear the stories. Maybe you are a storyteller, maybe you are a listener. Maybe both. Maybe it will be your path to achieve recognition and fame; maybe yours is an anonymous path of service.
If you’ve done all you can– whether it’s to pursue your dreams, work on that relationship, help someone else, or take care of yourself– then you’ve done your part.
Maybe all we can do is all we’re meant to do, that day.
 
God, help me do what I can and not torture myself about what I can’t.

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