From the BlogMeet Ron

Hereeeeeeers Chuck D.

Stop throwing that blame around
 
“There are two kinds of people in the world,” a friend explained to me one day.
“There are the ones who blame other people for everything that happens.
And there are the ones who blame themselves.”
 
Have you ever watched a movie where one of the actors used a flamethrower?
In a movie I watched one day, they called this instead a “blame thrower.”
It’s a lit torch of fiery rage that we throw at either others or ourselves when
situations don’t work out the way we planned.
 
Blaming can be a healthy stage of grieving or letting go. But staying too long
in this stage can be unproductive. It can keep us from taking constructive action.
Blaming ourselves too long can turn into self-contempt;
blaming others can keep us heavy and dark with resentments, and fuel the victim within.
 
If you’re going through a loss, or if life has twisted on you, pick up your blame thrower– in
the privacy of your own journal. Give yourself ten or twenty minutes to blame without censorship.
Get it out. Write out everything you want to say, whether you’re throwing blame at someone else or at yourself.
 
It may take longer if the loss is larger, but the point is to give yourself a limited amount
of time for a blame-throwing session, then cease fire. Stop.
Move on to the next stage in living, which is letting go, accepting,
and taking responsibility for yourself.
 
God, help me search myself to see if I’m holding on to blame for myself or someone else.
If I am, help me get it out in the open, then help me let it go.

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Solving Problems
 
I ask that You might help me work through all my problems,
to Your Glory and Honor.
–Alcoholics Anonymous
 
Many of us lived in situations where it wasn’t okay to identify,
have, or talk about problems. 
 
Denial became a way of life our way of dealing with problems.
 
In recovery, many of us still fear problems.
We may spend more time reacting to a problem than we do to solving it.
 
We miss the point; we miss the lesson;
we miss the gift Problems are a part of life. 
 
So are solutions.
 
A problem doesn’t mean life is negative or horrible.
Having a problem doesn’t mean a person is deficient.
All people have problems to work through.
 
In recovery, we learn to focus on solving our problems.
First, we make certain the problem is our problem.
If it isn’t, our problem is establishing boundaries.
Then we seek the best solution. This may mean setting a goal,
asking for help, gathering more information, taking an action, or letting go.
 
Recovery does not mean immunity or exemption from problems;
recovery means learning to face and solve problems,
knowing they will appear regularly. We can trust our ability to solve problems,
and know we’re not doing it alone.
Having problems does not mean our Higher Power is picking on us.
Some problems are part of life; others are ours to solve, and we’ll grow in necessary ways in the process.
 
Face and solve today’s problems. Don’t worry needlessly about tomorrow’s problems,
because when they appear, we’ll have the resources necessary to solve them.
 
Facing and solving problems working through problems with help from a
Higher Power means we’re living and growing and reaping benefits.
 
 
God, help me face and solve my problems today.
Help me do my part and let the rest go. I can learn to be a problem solver.

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It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare;
it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. 
–Seneca
 
When we reach a stressful time in our lives, our vision gets narrow.
We fail to see the options and possibilities we have.
If we give ourselves over to our worries and fears, our sight closes down even further.
Finally, we reach the point of blindness to reality and to all the support around us.
In our fearful blindness we say with conviction, “This is too difficult!
There is nothing I can do.”
The spiritual man strives to keep one eye on the horizon, even in a worrisome situation.
He breaths deeply so he does not tighten up or closes off his exchange with the world.
He returns to the relationship he has with his Higher Power, trusting the process to carry
him through, and he opens his eyes to quietly take in the possibilities before him.
 
Close to my Higher Power, I have a place of calm in the midst of difficulty
and see the possibilities and dare to act upon them.

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