From the BlogMeet Ron


Honolulu folks –> Join a supportive group of like-minded folks tomorrow night 4/7/16, for meditation, mindful movement and discussion at our place, 3241 Alani Drive, in Manoa, at the usual time: 6 to 7:30 PM. If you have a meditation cushion please bring; if not, no worries. The front door opens at 5:50. Note: please do not park in the driveway, as we share this rented house with another couple and we do not want them to be blocked in. Thanks!

Dear friends,

Katina and I and the kids are delighted to announce a special evening with guest speaker Ven. Karma Lekshe Tsomo, who will be leading the meditation and giving a talk on Loving-kindness in Theory and Practice, at our place on Thursday April 14, at the usual time, 6 to 7:30 PM.

I would also like to let you know about a free public event in which she will be presenting on Sunday, April 17, 2016 at 2 PM.

Ven. Lekshe will be giving a talk at the Mystical Rose Oratory on the Chaminade University campus. For more information about this event, and to read Ven. Lekshe’s bio, please see below.
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Our daughter is going off to college in the fall. Sometimes I ask how this could be, it seems like only yesterday I was cleaning out Sippy bottles, teaching her how to swing on a swing set, and to tie her shoes.

Now I am teaching her to drive and how to find her way at airports as she gets ready to take an unaccompanied flight to the Mainland to attend an admitted student’s college orientation.

As I reflect on the very early years, I am struck at the similarities between meditation and the parenting of a young child.

It’s really a lot about Not Knowing, or Beginner’s Mind.

Not Knowing, or Beginner’s Mind, reminds us that clinging to certainty, although natural, can cause us a lot of grief and confusion. Both in parenting and in meditation it can interfere with the innate ability blossom and thrive.

We bought all those parenting books first time parents buy. But no matter which or how many books you buy or online forums you sign up for, you go into this job mostly not really knowing what you are in for.

Same with meditation.

We are mostly raised to know what we are doing. You go to a trade school, or college, maybe graduate school, all to know what you are doing. So we can have a safe sense of being in control our lives, professional, familial, and personal.

In parenting and meditation, in order to get the fruits hope for, we need to remind ourselves when we have strayed from Not Knowing mind, and gently come back.

Come back to what? — A letting be and a letting go of any of any preconceived ideas and the notion that we have control over how things are.

When we come from a place of certainty, we are may not be fully alive to what stands outside of our preconceived ideas. If we enter parenting with a rigid stance about how things should be, we may not only dismiss who our children are and who they are becoming, but we cloud our ability to allow our children and our experience to be our teachers.

Same with meditation.

As Suzuki Roshi said:

“Not-knowing does not mean you don’t know.” Not-knowing means not being limited by what we know, holding what we know lightly so that we are ready for it to be different. Maybe things are this way. But maybe they are not.”

But we are not talking about deliberately trying to be confused or in doubt about how to be a good parent or a good meditator, or to simply not know how to do either.

In of his talks, Gil Fronsdal notes that while doubt and uncertainty are involuntary states, “not-knowing-mind“ is a conscious practice in which we cultivate an ability to meet life without preconceived ideas, interpretations, or judgments.

We simply notice thoughts of certainty as they arise and see if we can “soften the edges” as Gil says.

We try to remain open to the possibility of things being different than how we expected them to be, moment by mindful moment.

As Gil pus it:

“As a Buddhist practice, not-knowing leads to more than an intimacy and open mind. It can be used as a sword to cut through all the ways that the mind clings. If we can wield this sword until the mind lets go of itself and finally knows ultimate freedom, then-not knowing has served its ultimate purpose.”

Try it now

Katina and I are here to support your meditation practice in any way we can.
Tom, Katina, Uilalani and Kupaianaha

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